Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
