Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
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IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
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I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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