My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
