you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
