when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
