theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
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