I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
