im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
