I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
