Ambien. No doubt about it.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
