Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
