no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
