I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
