Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Randomize
