where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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