we're blogging at a bar
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
