So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
