If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
My bed smells like the plague
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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