do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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