Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
