I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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