I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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