And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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