Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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