when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize