i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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