Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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