Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
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She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
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It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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