I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
