we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
