He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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