Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences In Dating Men And Women
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now