Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
