New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom