if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months