You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...