even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
