not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
