i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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