Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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