It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
