I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize