Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
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We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
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I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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