All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I would ride that face into the sunset
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
