why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
please don't ironically join a cult
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