I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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