I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize