Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
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We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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