and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
