We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize