There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
