another moral hangover. fuck.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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