they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize