So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
