Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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