well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
