Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
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