when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize
