Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
