Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
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i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
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There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
We need to get me chipped asap
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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