shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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