You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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