somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
