nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
