dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
