You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
