Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize