I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
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on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
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If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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