omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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