it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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