I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
