i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
