Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
