I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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