Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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