Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
