after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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