I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
