38 yer olds are good kisserssss
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
