Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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